


I deserved a better goodbye (but I guess you didn't really leave)

by Alaskina



Series: I deserved a better goodbye (But I guess you didn't really leave) [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Against squibs, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Atsuhiro Sako is head boy, Author takes creative freedom and makes wands with gemstones, Bad Parenting, Bakugou Katsuki Being an Asshole, Bakugou Katsuki Needs Therapy, Because trauma, But they run a wand shop, Character Development, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dadzawa, Discrimination, Doesnt exist?, Everyone is going to be an asshole for a while, F/F, F/M, He is an asshole, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It’s only hinted, M/M, Midoriya Izuku is a squib, Multi, My fix my political positions, Nemuri Kayama for deputy headmistress, Panic Attack, Polyamory, Potions teacher Aizawa Shota, Rumi Usagiyama is head girl, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko is Not a Villain, Slow Burn, Slytherin Midoriya Izuku, Society for the Support of Squib (SSS), Squibs, Swearing, Talk about dreams that include suicide, Talks about scars, The one name in chapter six under letter three, Therapy, Therefore, Todoroki Enji is vice minister of magic, Todoroki Enji | Endeavor's Bad Parenting, Todoroki siblings are a mess, Well - Freeform, Wild Wild Pussy Cats, aged-down characters, and are a in a polyamorous relationship, because why not, but less traumatised and misguided, even all might, further tags will be added, only chapter three though, slightly OOC, sorry - Freeform, that’s my original name for ectoplasm, they are side characters in this book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alaskina/pseuds/Alaskina
Summary: Midoriya Izuku knew exactly three things.Kacchan would be an amazing wizard.Don’t touch the broom.He would loose Kacchan once they both turned 11 years old. Because Kacchan would go to Hogwarts. The only place, Izuku couldn’t follow him to.It was alright. Kacchan hadn’t been nice for several years. It was alright. He didn’t deserve to go to Hogwarts.It was alright. He still had pictures.It was alright. Kacchan would be an amazing wizard.
Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, Other relationships will be added - Relationship
Series: I deserved a better goodbye (But I guess you didn't really leave) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060703
Comments: 32
Kudos: 182





	1. We grew apart in the blink of an eye

When Midoriya Izuku turned three he had an accident. After he accidentally had dropped a bucket of soil he looked for a broom and the broom went crazy. The scar, almost invisible, over his left eyebrow was the result.

Rule Number One: Don’t touch the broom, Izuku.

When Midoriya Izuku was three and a half, Kacchan, the child, that was on almost all of his pictures and spend several days a week with him, exploded a bug with his hands. Izuku screamed. Kacchan got scared and another explosion went off. Izuku was always aware of magic. His mother practiced it. In the Bakugou House, the whole kitchen functioned on magic.

But the explosions meant exactly two things.

One: Magic was destructive. Kacchan could have gotten himself hurt.

Two: Kacchan was different. Izuku had never, not once in his life, been able to do something extraordinary.

(Three: If Kacchan could cause magic to explosively erupt, did that mean he was strong? How could that be transferred to his magical potential. If Kacchan learned how to control the explosive magic, he could certainly master different techniques as well.)

When Midoriya Izuku was four years old, he had an accident (again. Well done Izuku).

Kacchan and he were in his house, his mom was out working at Sant Mungo (she was a healer) and Kacchan’s mom had just gone over to her house because she had to find some ingredients (spices. Somehow the Bakugous all had a problem with their tastebuds).

Izuku stumbled and crashed into the glass table. Kacchan cursed. Hot, sticky liquid slowly streamed over his back and his neck and his fingers and everything was red.

Izuku whimpered. Kacchan carefully grabbed him, as if he was weighing nothing, lifted him out of the mess of blood and shards and carried him to the door before he stumbled as if Izuku had suddenly gained weight and they both crashed to the floor.

“Izu! Izu! Where does it hurt?” Izuku was tired. His head hurt. His eyes were heavy.

“Izu, your mom said you are not allowed to close your eyes when you hit your head. Open your eyes. Mom will be back. Open your eyes. Izu.”

Izuku met red eyes. If they were slightly blurred because of his own tears or because Kacchan cried, he didn’t know. He smiled at Kacchan and closed his eyes.

He woke up at the hospital with his mommy smiling at him. Kacchan wasn’t there.

(Three days later Kacchan was next to him in this bed when he woke up. He didn’t know why. He didn’t need to know. He just pressed closer to Kacchan and buried his face in his chest.)

About three months after Izuku’s fifth birthday two wizard families moved on the street, they had two children each. Two boys were around Kacchan’s age (and his age as well but, really, who cared), and soon the boys were with Kacchan all the time. They were in Kacchan’s garden or in the park and the played with the leaves and screamed in delight when the successfully revived one (or when Kacchan blew one up). In the beginning they let Izuku play with him.

When they played hide and seek, he was allowed to be the seeker. (One time they forgot they were playing and left him in the park. When the sun set, Izuku was frantic, screaming their names, tears running over his face. (Kacchan didn’t come over, even after Inko stormed over to the Bakugous after she had found Izuku in the park, crying and screaming for Kacchan. Inko was furious, Izuku heard her screaming in his bed room under his fluffy blanket that Kacchan had gifted him to his birthday)).

After two months the new kids didn’t want to play with Izuku anymore. Kacchan turned around twice when he walked away, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he left him, on the door steps of a home they had spent most of their lives in, together (closing his eyes, he could hear their laughs). Kacchan walked away. Izuku forced his face to smile until they were around the corner.

He still smiled when the first few tears dropped.

Five months before his sixth birthday one of the new kids shoved him to the ground, an ugly, hateful sneer on his face and called him a „useless squib“.

He walked home to his mother that day and looked at her.

„Mommy, what is a squib?“

Inko craddled him in her arms and cried. The words dropped from her lips, together with her tears.

„It is a person with magic parents who can’t practice magic, baby.“

Izuku stared at the floor, his heartbeat echoed in his ears. „Am I a squib?“

Inko sobbed. „I am so sorry, baby.“

On his sixth birthday, Kacchan didn’t come to his birthday party. No one came. It was just him and the cake. His mother was working. He forced a smile on his face when he blew out the candles, even though everything was blurry from the tears.

The next time they went to Diagon Alley, Izuku brought a book about herbology and another one about potions when his mother wasn’t watching. He didn’t exactly know why it was important that his mother didn’t notice, but maybe, just maybe, because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to have books about magic.

He read them religiously, noted important points in one of his muggle note books (so much more practical than parchment). Herbology and potions didn’t need magic or wands or spells. It was about knowledge and instincts and memory. When Kacchan ran off without him, he recited every single potion ingredient he knew and their use as well as at least two recipes.

„Kacchan, which house do you think you will be in?“

Izuku was uncomfortable. His mother and Kacchan’s mom had decided, that they would have a BBQ and somehow they both ended up next to each other in one of the big bean bags. Kacchan angrily bit down on the chicken, glaring at the sky, as if it was responsible for all his problems. His hands smoked every now and then.

„What kind of stupid fucking questions is that, shitty nerd, of fucking course I will be in Gryffindor. Not that you have to fucking care, you won’t even be near Hogwarts, Deku. The closest you will ever be to Hogwarts is if you become a fucking cleaner or something equally useless. Maybe you can be used as practice object for spells.“

Izuku flinched, violently, juice spilled over his finger and he slowly bowed his head. His long hair fell in his face and hid his eyes.

Kacchan started to say stuff like this more often. It wasn’t a big deal. It was fine. Somehow tears still welled up and his fingers still trembled.

„Izu, are you alright, baby?“

He opened his mouth to answer his mother, but a familiar hand was placed on his shoulder.

„He just spilled the juice. I take him up to the bathroom.“

The hand squeezed his shoulder hard, daring him to object. He didn’t. He stood up and walked with Kacchan. He tried not to think about the warmth on his shoulder. Once so comforting, now so terrifying.

The bathroom door snapped shut behind them. The hand heated up, more and more and then erupted. Pain sparked, burning though his nerves and overwhelming his brain. A calloused hand muffled his scream.

„Don’t you dare to say anything, useless squib!“

The words seeped slowly in his brain, numbing him. The send him crashing through the pain border, and he felt nothing. He vaguely registered a muffled noise, but that could have been his own sob. Kacchan let go, placed him on the floor and held his head, so it wouldn’t knock against anything. Cut and bruises on his face and head were so much harder to hide. Even Kacchan knew that.

The bathroom door opened and closed and Kacchan was gone. Outside the explosive blonde screamed, „Izu has a headache. He said, he is going home.“

Izuku whimpered. It had been so long since Izu had sounded affectionate. Every bit of softness in Kacchan’s voice was now only a projection of his own desperate wishful thinking.

Izuku whimpered. Kacchan hadn’t called him squib before.

He dragged himself home, crying quietly. He heard the chuckle of one of the new kids (they were no longer new, but if Izuku ignored that, he might as well be able to imagine that Kacchan’s behavior was only a phase, quickly passing (it wasn’t, it had been over a year).

Once he turned seven, his mother introduced him to the SSS. The organization was founded to help squibs. Squibs like him. It wasn’t too bad. Akiko, an eight year old kid who lived full time in one of the group homes, started to become one of his closest friends. They argued about potions and secretly grew blood blisterpod in Akiko’s room. Under the watchful eyes of Ms. Okazaki they were allowed to make some simple potions. They only blew one up once („Are you completely sure, that we didn’t add the snake skin?“ „Yes, I am pretty sure we didn’t even get some from the cupboard.“ „Okay, sure, Izukun, go ahead, just let me hide behind the wall.“)

Akiko was not only smart, she was also really beautiful. Her hair was black and her eyes had the colour of charcoal. When she smirked, she showed perfectly pearl white teeth.

„Hey, Izukun, have you ever kissed someone?“, the girl asked shortly after Izuku turned nine. She laid on her stomach on her bed. In her hands was a book about the witch trials and the inquisition.

Izuku spluttered, eyes wide and ears red. „Why would you ask something like this?!“

Akiko laughed. „You didn’t. Do you want to?“

Izuku turned even more red, his face was heated enough to fry an egg. „Kikochan“, he whispered mortified.

„Can I try kissing you? I want to know if I like kissing boys?“

Izuku was ready for another potions accident. One with deadly consequences, please.

„O-okay?“, he stuttered.

Akiko leaned down, her lips brushed over his and stayed still. It was weird. Her lips were soft and she smelled like vanilla, but it was awkward in a completely new way. Akiko pulled away.

„Nah, I down think I like boys“, she whispered to herself.

Izuku stared at her, his green eyes wide and his lips slightly parted. Akiko pulled her notebook closer and scribbled something down.

Izuku most certainly didn’t like girls. Somehow that realization didn’t hurt too much. He threw himself on the bed on hugged Akiko. She was still taller.

„Love you, Kikochan.“

„Love you too, Izukun.“

On his tenth birthday he didn’t leave his bed. His mom knocked on his door and wished him a happy birthday before she left for work. He couldn’t find it in him to move. This was it. The last birthday he could pretend. Because Kacchan would turn eleven in ten months and then… then…

Izuku opened the drawer of his night stand and took his first note book. The words were barley readable, written by a five year old, barley able to write.

_Kacchan exploded a vase today. Auntie Mitskui sweared so much, her owl woke up and started screeching._

_Kacchan: brave, protective, smart, powerful_ ~~_Ravenclaw?_ ~~ _Gryffindor?_

_I hopefully too. Want to be with Kacchan._

_Wont be going to Hogwarts. Kacchan has to write letters. Will Kacchan write letters?_

Izuku knew his notebooks. Nevertheless he turned to the last page.

_I am gonna lose Kacchan to Hogwarts — > Hug Kacchan more often, so I won’t miss him too much when he is gone, ask him to come home for holidays, give Kacchan a letter for every day at Hogwarts, hug Kacchan, bring him to Kings Cross. If he doesn’t want to stay, don’t stop him. Kacchan will be an amazing wizard._

Izuku closed the book. Pain spread through his chest, tears blurred his vision, when he screamed he muffled his cries in his pillow. He didn’t think losing Kacchan would hurt this much. He had already lost him. So why did this little fact so much.

Izuku knew why.

Because until now he could follow Kacchan everywhere no matter how much he disliked that.

But Hogwarts was a place where Izuku couldn’t go. Kacchan was leaving him for a place he couldn’t follow him to.


	2. I hope you don't mind, you took my hand and I will never leave your side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about the relationship (friendship) between Akiko and Izuku. We also get a short look on Bakugou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got an overwhelmingly good response on my first chapter (which did surprise me). Therefore, early Christmas gift (I guess). I hope you like it. Stay safe, stay healthy and try to enjoy the holidays.

When Izuku first met Akiko, she was a ghost. He knew she was there, but he never saw her. Whenever he got a glimpse on her, she was in the garden. Her hair short and unevenly cut, as if she had grabbed it and cut it with a pair of scissors. She was deadly pale, her skin looked like wax and her eyes were the only thing alive in her face. She didn’t make a sound, only looked at the columbines that grew in the flowerbed. And whenever Izuku was in the garden, Akiko vanished.

Akiko was a ghost. Izuku didn’t know if she was the one who haunted or if she was the haunted one.

„Akiko is such a poor little girl“, the main caregiver said sadly, when she caught him looking out of the window. She sighed and walked away.

Apparently it was tradition to plant a flower, when one had spent their first three month with the SSS. Izuku didn’t know a lot about house plants. Most of them had no purpose. He chose a pretty little flower that bloomed pink. On a cold morning in December, he stepped outside, a shovel in his hand and ready to plant the flower. He chose a place close to the house and started digging.

„What are you doing?“ The judging, hoarse voice shattered the cold air like glass.

Izuku squeaked loud and spun around. Akiko stood in front of him. Her thin body basically disappeared in the oversized, black jumper.

„P-planting?“, Izuku stuttered.

„What do you plant?“

Izuku scrambled to get to his bag. He tugged on the bag with the seeds and shoved it to Akiko. She slowly looked down (she was taller than him, about half a head, unfair) and tilted her head. She looked back up, her eyes tightened and affronted look in her eyes.

„And why“, she said in a volume that was most likely screaming for her, „do you plant geraniums at the darkest place in the whole garden and not in the glass house, where they get enough warmth to survive?“

She ripped the bag from his hands. „Give me that before you find another way to hurt the poor things.“

Flabbergasted Izuku gawked at the girl, who turned around and marched to the glass house in the middle of the garden.

„Follow me, plant torturer!“

Izuku ran. He didn’t want to know what this girl would do if he didn’t.

Two weeks later, Izuku sat in the living room. The fireplace was lit and orange danced through the room. On the table on his left stood the cocoa with cinnamon. He ran into Kacchan and the two boys again. He leg had some deep bruises and one of the boys burned his chest. He had read up on plants used for healing but he didn’t find Aloe just yet so he dealt with the pain.

In his hands was a book about healing plants he had bought in November.

„Is that a good book?“ Akiko appeared behind him out of nowhere. „Why do you read about healing plants?“

„I don’t need magic for potions and herbology.“ He said it stubbornly.

„I know, but why do you sit like you try to put next to no pressure on your leg and why do you read about plants that are applied on burns.“

„It is nothing.“

Akiko was quiet. Her disturbingly black eyes were fixed on his face. Wood cracked in the flames, a clock ticked, once, twice, thrice.

„Most of us have some sort of way to apply our low magical potential. I can feel pain. I won’t ever be able to do anything else. We made several tests. Only pain. You are in a lot of pain, Midoriya-kun. Don’t lie to me. Show me where you are hurt.“

Izuku cried. The book fell to the floor when he collapsed into Akiko’s arms. His sobs turned into dry heaving and he cried and cried and cried. And the clock ticked and the wood cracked.

„And what do you two think, you are doing?“ Izuku screamed. Akiko reflexively ducked behind the cauldron.

„Oh, Akiko-chan, I saw you, don’t you dare to hide.“

In the door stood Miss Okazaki, the woman, who watched over this house. Her wand sticked in her high bun and today was a day, where she wasn’t hiding the long scar, that stretched from just below her left eye down two her collar bone. Izuku hadn’t asked where it was from. Miss Okazaki was one of the few squibs who carried wand and were able to do basic spells. Not only that, she was not a bad dueler as well. When he asked her, she smiled at him and said that she only did it with a lot of time and a whole lot more of luck. Izuku wasn’t lucky. It was proved by the angry woman around the age of thirty who just discovered him trying to make a potion.

„Okazaki-san“, Akiko whispered and slowly stood up.

„Do you want me to explain what happened here, or do want to try yourself?“, Miss Okazaki said with a dangerous look in her eyes.

„We-we just wanted to do something.“ Izuku glanced at her. Her expression hadn’t changed a bit, maybe it had gotten a bit darker.

„You tried to make a potion. You, Midoriya Izuku, age eight, and you, Yamamoto Akiko, age nine, tried to make a potion, without any experience, without a supervisor, without a simple, natural thought about your own safety. You could have gotten yourself and everyone in this house killed! Is that what you wanted! Oh, I am squib, so why don’t risk my life for something as simple as a—what is it? A cleaning potion for the kitchen?! Was that about it?“

Izuku hated being a crybaby. Tears streamed down his face and he hunched over. „No…“, he sobbed.

„Oh, no? You didn’t think? I guess that explains it as well. You didn’t think at all. You endangered us all and didn’t think about it for a second!“

„I-i ju-just w-w-wanted t-to d-do some-something li-li-like a-a re-real wi-wizard“, Izuku cried, his sobs shook his little body. He didn’t mean to. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He just wanted to do something that would help his mom. He wanted to not be useless. He was only useless. Kacchan was right. He was a useless, stupid Deku. He was a useless squib. He should just—

Miss Okazaki sighed. She crouched and opened her arms. „Come here, Izuku-kun.“

He stumbled forward and threw himself in her arms. She enveloped him in cinnamon and apples. She must have baked before she found them. He pressed his face in her neck and sobbed.

„I know, Izuku-kun. I know you didn’t want to hurt anyone. I am sorry I screamed at you. I would have preferred if you had told me, that you want to make a potion. I would have supervised you, Izuku-kun. But this is simply dangerous. I understand that you want to prove yourself, but you have to remember, that I am here to support you, not to hurt you. I know how you are feeling. I have a wand, but I am still a squib. I have fought for my place in this world. I am just like you.“

Izuku’s body shook in her arms, but her eyes were fixed on Akiko, who had slumped. She didn’t cry, she didn’t move at all. Her eyes were empty and her body motionless. Carefully, Miss Okazaki lifted Izuku on her hips and walked over to the girl.

„Akiko-chan, can you hear me?“

She didn’t react. Izuku moved his head until he could see his friend. He wasn’t even sure if she was breathing.

„Akiko-chan, are you with me?“

Miss Okazaki slowly crouched again. Gently she massaged Akiko’s fingers, and suddenly Akiko flinched. Life returned to her eyes and she looked wide-eyes at the pair in front of her.

„Do you want to tell me what I did wrong, except screaming?“

Akiko looked at Miss Okazaki, eyes swimming with emotions. „Can you not call me by my last name?“

„Of course, Akiko-chan“, she whispered gently and tucked her in her arms, next to Izuku and held her, when the tears slipped out of her eyes, one by one, without a sound.

Izuku couldn’t get it out of his head. Whenever he saw Akiko, he thought about the day he heard her last name for the very first time. Yamamoto Akiko. It had to be a coincidence. There was no way. But what if there was. The Yamamoto family was ancient. It was one of the wider circle, one of the families that was not part of pureblood circle, because the were not British, because they had their roots in Japan. Yamamoto wasn’t an unusual last name—in Japan. All wizards in Britain who carried that last name were related to the Yamamoto family.

He couldn’t ask. That would be rude.

Sometimes, when his mother had a night shift and slept at the hospital, he spend time at Akiko’s. Once upon a time, ages ago, he would have walked over to the Bakugous. He would have his blanket and his stuff animal with him and he would hug Kacchan, who would carry him, if he was too tired. They would sleep together in one bed, Kacchan would hug him, and they would fall asleep.

„Where are you going, shitty nerd?!“

He might have, just maybe, a slight problem. He slowly turned around. In his arms he carried a blanket, so he could only see Kacchan’s chest and face. But that was enough. Kacchan didn’t wear a shirt. Because of reasons beyond his understandings a slight blush crept on his face. Stupid blood vessels.

Kacchan’s hair was even more spiked than usually, but it looked different, messy, as if Kacchan had just left his bed. He stood in his door, no light shining from the hallway, and starred at Izuku with wide red eyes.

„Hey, Deku, I asked a question!“

„I go to a friend.“ Why did he tell the truth again?

„Ha?! You don’t have friends, Deku. And why would you go out at 10 pm?!“

Why do you care, Kacchan? Izuku couldn’t take his eyes off the boy. Why did he care? „I do have friends. Mom is not home, so I am going to visit her.“

„Go back inside, Deku. It is dark outside and it is not safe.“ Kacchan looked almost scared for him. What a joke.

„No. I only have to walk for 10 minutes. I do it all the time.“

Kacchan looked like a volcano just before an eruption. Maybe he should run. But he stood still and watched Kacchan with attentive eyes (fixed on his face, he didn’t know nine year olds had slightly defined chest muscles, it was odd. Maybe Kacchan did more training? When they were younger he had always bragged that he could do pull-ups and push-ups (he once did a push up with Izuku on his back before his arms gave in).

Kacchan grabbed a jacket, eyebrows going wild, and slipped into his sneakers. „You are not going alone.“

_Why?_ , Izuku wanted to ask. He didn’t. He feared the answer.

Their walk was silent. Izuku nearly ran into a lantern post, because he couldn’t see it behind the big blanket. Kacchan grabbed his arm and led him around the post. His brain screamed a warning, waiting for the pain, that didn’t come.

„Is that a SSS-Building?“ Kacchan’s voice sounded less angry, only tense. 

„Yes, Kikochan lives here.“

„Hah?!“ Kacchan yelled, his voice ripped the quiet night apart, somewhere barked a dog. Anger and fury danced over his face and something else Izuku couldn’t read. There had been a time where he would have been able to identify every emotion Kacchan displayed. Now he only recognizes the important once. Fury, anger, frustration. The once that lead to burns and scraps and bruises. He whimpered.

„Izukun, are you here?“ Kikochan’s voice was the sun after a thunderstorm. Several locks were turned and she emerged from the hallway. Her long, black hair was disheveled and here almond eyes sleepy. „Get in, Izukun, I have hot chocolate and it is late.“

Only then her eyes fell on Kacchan, „Oh, hello, did you bring Izuku?“

Kacchan seemed thunderstruck, his eyes wide and his lips slightly open as if he was trying to understand the situation. His eyes were glued on Akiko. Maybe he thought she was pretty. Izuku tensed.

Akiko’s eyes became hawklike, trained on Kacchan as if he was pray. „Well, thank you. I can manage from here. It would be best for you to go home.“ She dragged Izuku inside and closed the door.

„He gives you the bruises, doesn’t he? You tensed up, you looked uncomfortable.“ Akiko eyes him wary.

Izuku nodded, feeling numb. Kacchan hadn’t hurt him today. And wasn’t it sad, that this fact surprised him?

When Izuku blew up the potion, he cried. Akiko held him tight, and Miss Okazaki suffocated the flames by making one of the towels fireproof so it wouldn’t burn to ashes, when she quickly extinguished the flames.

Akiko turned eleven on a day in December. When the night came around, they climbed on the roof, blankets tightened around them, and gazed at the stars.

„My brother got a letter today.“

Izuku startled. „Your brother.“

Akiko hummed, her eyes wandered over the firmament. „I am the younger one. By five minutes. I am also the defect one. My brother could revive plants and flowers and shatter glass. I didn’t have anything special on me. No magic, no talent, nothing useful. My parents made a lot of tests, but when they figured I wouldn’t be able to go to Hogwarts, they sat me on the doorsteps of the SSS-building in London. It was a new moon, in the middle of the night. As if they were hiding a body, or a dirty secret.“

Izuku wanted to say something. He wanted to yell and cry and curse Akiko’s parents. He wanted to feel all the emotions and yell them out in the world, Akiko couldn’t. He didn’t say anything.

„I hate them so much.“ Akiko’s voice broke. Izuku hugged her and let her cry. He threaded his fingers in her hair and massaged her skull, and let her cry and sob into his shirt, like Akiko had done for him many times before.

Under the stars, he let Yamamoto Akiko break, and he watched her built herself up again. Under the stars, Yamamoto Akiko let go of her family by blood and took shelter in the arms of kid, that had eyes green like leaves threaded with northern lights, aurora borealis. The kid that would never let her go, she was certain at that moment, the little kid that didn’t know how to plant geraniums and knew too much about healing plants for a nine year old. The kid she would get to see in a Hogwarts school uniform, leaving all his classmates in the dust.

Yamamotos didn’t break promises. Akiko promised.


	3. The world rushes past and I can’t follow, I am a leaf in the ocean, I go with the tide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aizawa, potions and someone decides that Izuku should get therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t like this chapter, I really, really dot like it. I will probably rewrite it at some point. 
> 
> It is just incredibly fast paced and there are very hard cuts. The text doesn’t flow. :(
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy?
> 
> Lets end this year with a bit of peace.

Izuku had a habit for stumbling into odd situations. So really, he shouldn’t be surprised at all. 

In the living room, on his favourite couch, sat a man, with truly disheveled, black hair and eye bags that rivalled his mothers (and his mother did 24-hour shifts as a healer). In one of the seats sat Miss Okazaki with a cup of tea. 

„Come inside, Izuku-kun, don’t just stand in the door frame like a plant.“

He would much rather be a plant, really. 

„Izuku-kun, this is Aizawa Shota, he is the potions master in Hogwarts. I also took care of his non-existent love life when we went to Hogwarts.“ 

„You didn’t take care if it. You poked your annoying nose in my business and ruined my Hogsmead date in Year 6, Mika.“ 

„Hizashi ruined your date, I just tipped him of in the right direction.“ 

„You are a terrible being, bane of my existent, almost as bad as the new batch of annoying little problem children that have the audacity to call themselves wizard. This infuriating Yamamoto brat blew up someone’s favourite book, because it was ‚not appropriate for a wizard‘. Wait until he is out of detention. I don’t even want to know what his parents did wrong. Purists are all the same. Toxic and traumatising for every being they get their fingers on.“ 

Izuku felt, like this might have been for someone else’s ears. Not for his. He felt intrusive. 

„Maybe I should come back later, Miss?“, he asked eyes darting to a laughing Miss Okazaki. 

„No, darling, don’t worry. I wanted to tell Shota about you. Akiko proposed it, so it isn’t really my idea, but here we go“, she beckoned him closer. He could see the face of the man, dark eyes and a scar under his right eye. He also was in clear need of sleep, and Izuku felt almost obligated to tear the coffee from his hands. 

„You are the boy with the potions?“, the man, Mister Aizawa, asked. 

Izuku looked at him. Which potions? How did he know of the potions? Was he here to arrest him? His gaze fell to the floor and he nodded. 

„How old are you, boy?“, he asked in the same monotone voice. 

„Ten, Sir. I am ten years old.“ 

Silence. Complete, utter silence. Did he say something wrong? He slowly looked up only two meet narrowed dark eyes. Aizawa had his head tilted slightly to one side, his face was motionless. Behind Izuku, Miss Okazaki giggled. 

„Told you, Shota. He is a little-“ „Yeah, you told me. Great. Mika, you are the plague.“ 

He looked back at Izuku and stood up. 

„I am Aizawa Shota, you can call me Aizawa-san here and Aizawa-sensei at school, understood?“ 

Now, Izuku wasn’t quite sure what just happened. He felt like he missed two or three sentences context. Maybe he had a potion accident again? No, he would dream things much odder than this (Kacchan held him in his arms when they were five. Kacchan carried him home, now when they were ten, after he had beaten up the two boys and told him he would never leave. He dreamed things like that nowadays, after he had inhaled to much fumes of some potions and that one time he had a concussions and the one time he had a high fever.)

„Boy, I asked if you understood.“ 

„Yes, Aizawa-san, but... but which school are you talking about?“ 

Aizawa-san smiled like a Cheshire Cat. „Hogwarts, boy.“

Izuku didn’t faint. He most certainly didn’t faint. He just blacked out for a second. (It really was a second. He was still standing and Aizawa-san was standing and Miss Okazaki was still sitting. But everything felt different, detached, distant. Izuku was drifting in a lake, and the water couldn’t touch him. He walked out of the house, walked down the street and guided Aizawa-san to his home, where his mother waited with dinner. For a second he felt bad, that he would throw his mother, his poor, overworked mother in such a situation, but he forgot his worries the second they rounded the corner to their street. 

Needless to say, Midoriya Inko loved her son. She would kill for her son, go against all her oaths and take a life for the adorable, wide eyed little boy, she had born and raised. He was worth all her pain and the exhaustion from one 24-hour shift to the next 24-hour shift with no chance of promotion even though she graduated with high grades and did incredibly well in her job training. 

She still remembered the day, when the chef healer called her and politely asked her, if the job she was doing was really what she wanted, if it wasn’t better if she quit, because there was no promotion for her, not now and not ever. She had found herself cold, and angry. The hot white kind if angry that burned though her veins and destroyed her urge to cry, that she and her son shared, because this talk and the diagnosis of her son had been too close together for a coincidence. The chef doctor couldn’t look her in the eyes, when she asked him cold and calm. It was enough of an answer. 

Nevertheless she was still here, and the doctor wasn’t. 

Midoriya Inko loved her son. 

She loved him enough to give the man a chance. Aizawa Shota, teacher for potions who said her son had talent, enough talent for a scholarship if her little boy was ready to work for it, because he would need supplement classes to support him, even though he had low magical potential. 

Midoriya Inko loved her son. 

So when he looked at her with bright green eyes that shone like an aurora borealis, so much brighter than they had in years, how could she possibly say no. 

Here is the deal. Aizawa Shota didn’t like kids who couldn’t appreciate his subject. Here is the other part of the deal. Most kids didn’t like potions. There wasn’t enough magic for them. They had no eye for the art of ingredients and motions. They couldn’t appreciate the work that was put into the potions that helped them with head aches, fatigue, muscle soreness, or grew them their bones back when they completely shattered one during quidditch. 

Midoriya Izuku was in every possible way a problem child, a problem child who liked potions and had a brain he used and was a bit smaller than a ten year old should be even though he could brow potions that had the quality of potions most students made in their third year of Hogwarts so, really, Midoriya Izuku was a problem child that was a potions prodigy. If he worked hard enough, he would become a great potions master. He was promising, and smart and from what Mika-chan, that annoying little pest had told him, he was also dedicated. So dedicated that sometimes he forgot about his own health. 

He would get this kid into his potions class. After that, he would get him into is UTZ potions class. He would get the kid into Hogwarts, even if he had to go against Nedzu (which was a new level of stupid. Honestly, he didn’t know what was wrong with him, but Merlin, the kid with the wide eyes, that looked at him as if he had hung up the stars (uncomfortable, why did he do that?), might just have really effective puppy eyes (Mika-chan also threatened to meet up with Hizashi. He would never live in peace again, so really, that was his main motivation.)

Bakugou Katsuki had fallen low. He sat on his window sill in his room and gazed at a window. Somewhere in the sark room behind his window was Izu. Or maybe he wasn’t. He didn’t really know a lot about Izu nowadays. He knew that he flinched when he saw him, and that his friends didn’t like Katsuki, and that he had scars on his body that came from his hands. Midoriya Izuku was in a room in the house down the street, or he wasn’t. Midoriya Izuku was a light year away, and Katsuki wouldn’t ever catch up. 

Aizawa-san was scary. 

He swiped through the room with so much grace, that Izuku felt like a baby duck waddling around. He had eyes in the back of the head (not literally) and always seemed to know when something, anything, went wrong („Stop right there, read the recipe again!“). 

Aizawa-san was scary. 

Izuku didn’t know if he could fool him. 

So when he walked out of the house one morning, after he hadn’t slept because of Kacchan hunting him down in his dreams, because of Akiko slipping away into darkness, Aizawa-san looked at him and paused. 

„Let‘s do something else today, Midoriya-kun.“ The dark eyes never left his face. Izuku didn’t have the energy to nod. 

They walked downtown, Aizawa-san always right beside Izuku, as if he expected him to collapse. Finally they arrived at a small cafe that selled Izuku‘s favourite cookies. The bright umbrellas stretche over the outdoor tables and hid Izuku from the sun. 

Aizawa-san ordered black coffe and a piece of choclate cake before he looked at Izuku expectant. Quietly his standard order slipped over his lips. His fingers were entangled in each other almost painfully. Aizawa-san gaze burned him. It sucked the oxygen right out of his lungs, left him to suffocate. 

„Midoriya-kun, you know that you are an incredibly smart kid, right?“ 

The carefully spoken words send him realing. He looked up. Aizawa-san looked down on his fingers, his hair fell into his face and his face betrayed no emotion. Izuku couldn’t find it in him to nod, to move his head, his tongue had turned to lead long ago. Sometimes that happened. On some days the words were hard to form. 

„You, Midoriya-kun, are incredibly smart. You have gifts most wizards can only dream of. You will get to go to Hogwarts, there is no hidden task, no hidden test. I am working with you now, so you will have enough time in the first years in Hogwarts to figure things out and take the supplement classes you will need. I only let you work so much now, because I thought you would enjoy it. There is no test.“ 

Izuku breathed. Tears welled up in his eyes and he felt dizzy. Something heavy had lifted from his shoulders, something incredibly cold and deadly, that had loomed over him, hidden until Aizawa-san had spoken about it. 

„Am I really going to Hogwarts?“, he asked. His own voice sounded strange to him, his worries voiced in one question. He still couldn’t wrap his head around it. It had gone so fast, so smooth, that it seemed unreal. How was it even possible, that after ten years, ten years of being the lowest creature possible in the eyes of so many, he was given this chance? How had a few seconds changed his whole future, without him even acknowledging? 

The tears slowly ran down his face. The waitress brought the order. 

„I promise, kid.“ 

The words felt heavy, meaningful in a way that works hadn’t been meaningful in a while („We will always best friends, I promise, Izu.“ „On your birthday we will celebrate together, okay? I will take a day off, I promise.“ „Did you really think we wouldn’t hurt you anymore? Squibs like you are so disgusting and stupid. Hey, listen up, promises are just words.“) 

They were both quiet, around them children screamed and people laughed and birds sang. Izuku listened to them and took a bite from his cookie. It was oddly relaxing to jut sir and eat. He felt safe and protected, like the new boys and Kacchan couldn’t reach him here (He should stop calling them new boys, he had known them for the half of his short life). 

„Midoriya-kun, I noticed the scars on your shoulder. Are they from your mom?“ 

Izukus eyes widened, his jaw dropped and an unwilling noise escaped his throat. „W-what? No! Mom wouldn’t do that!“ 

Aizawa-san scowled a bit less, his eyes locked with Izuku‘s. 

„Where did you get the scars from, kid?“ 

Aizawa had his gaze locked on the green-haired child in front of him. His curls glowed in the sun, his eyes were slightly tinted red from the tears and he looked incredibly small. Midoriya was a small kid. He was not even close to the average height of boys his age, but his eyes and his nehaviour made him seem so much older. 

Aizawa had seen the scars by accident. He had yanked the boy by his collar so he wouldnt accidentally throw the wrong ingredient into the potion (a very advanced potion at that, the kid was incredibly smart and picked up on thing fast) and he had first thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Large scars were splattered over his shoulders, most of them older, the latest probably three months old, but for a second his mind was blank. He had worked with the kid for two weeks, they met every day at the SSS-building, he had met the kids mother who seemed sweet and innocent, even though she wasn’t home very much. Had he been fooled? 

He let the kid walk home that day, his heart heavy, but he had to structure his thoughts before he talked to the child. He couldn’t scare him away. 

But here he was, looking at a scared kid, that seemed so reluctant to say something, his face was slightly scrunched up, his eyes darted from one spot to the next and his hands seemed to have developed a life on their own. 

Suddenly he shifted and looked at him, green eyes soft and full of fear but in the, burned a fire, so bright, he hoped it would never go out. 

„The kids on the street don’t really like me.“ 

Aizawa closed his eyes. Of course. Kids were cruel, capable of doing things their parents could even fathom. 

He opened his eyes and looked at Midoriya, took in his green eyes that shone with determination and hid something dark, something was more noticeable on some days. 

„Midoriya-kun, would you mind if I asked your mother, to send you to a therapist? There is nothing wrong with you“, he reassured quickly once he saw the panicked look on the kids face, „I just think, maybe, you should talk about how you got this scars?“

The kid nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://ko-fi.com/alaskina
> 
> Support me on my ko-fi.  
> I honestly just post a lot of the artsy stuff I do and sell pride stickers.


	4. I tired to hold on and on and on, only to let go, cause there is nothing you can offer to redeem your soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have Izuku and his therapist for about 3 seconds, we see Aizawa being confronted with his sketchiness, we meet and elderly woman and we see Izuku having some mental breakdowns and realisations. (I promise, I like Kirishima)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing Izukus 11th birthday. We are ending the Kacchan is and will always be my best friend - part and enter the recovery and making new friends part soon.

Time was an odd concept. It rushed when it was needed to go slow and it was a snail when Izuku wanted it to pass. And sometimes it felt like time didn't exist. His said a head thing, he felt caught or detached and lost his concept of time. His therapist has proven to be quite the interesting person. He listened, he didn't pressure Izuku and sometimes they just sat in the office (that was painted in a soft yellow colour) and drank hot chocolate while they both read.

And on some days, Izuku cried and yelled and screamed and his therapist held him.

So yes, Mister Derosier had helped him more than he could believe.

That didn’t make it more comfortable when he finally spoke up.

„Sometimes I die in my dreams.“

They had sat on the bean bags with a cup of tea (wild berries) and the words rolled off his tongue like an unstoppable force. Cold, sinking dread followed them. His stomach froze and he felt sick.

He didn’t mean to say it.

„Okay.“ Mister Desrosier looked at him, his black rimmed glasses sat on his nose, and a reassuring smile was planted on his face.

„Okay?“

„Yes, Izuku. You can tell me, it’s not a problem. How do you die?“

„The room is filled with gas that can’t escape through the door, but the door is open. I could leave. But instead I sit down and start getting dizzy. At one point I black out. I die. I know I do.“

„Okay, kid. Do you want me to explain what happens?“

Izuku nodded.

„How was therapy, kid?“ Aizawa-san waited in front of the office building, as he did every day. The past weeks had rushed past Izuku, his afternoons with Aizawa-san were some of the best parts of his day.

„Alright, I guess“, he answered.

Aizawa-san ruffled his hair. „That’s good, kid.“

„What are we doing today?“

Aizawa gave him a contemplating look, before he said. „You have ever been to Kirishima’s?“

Izuku looked up and shook his head.

„They have the best Ice cream of the world. And they have cats.“

Yeah, Izuku was totally in.

The trip to London was nothing out of the ordinary. Aizawa and Izuku flooed from the fireplace of the SSS-Building to the fireplace of the head quarter in Diagon Alley. Izuku wasn’t visiting London often. Once upon a time he would go with the Bakugou’s and he would run with Kacchan through the alley until they got lost. Since the fallout he had been here for about ten times, almost always for books in company of his mother.

„We are getting some ingredients first and after that we go to Kirishima’s, alright?“

Aizawa-san had started to ask him permission for everything they did together. He had asked if it was alright that his therapist was a pure blood, if he liked the temperature of the room, if he was alright with the potion they were going to make. It felt nice to actually chose things and be in control for once.

The Diagon Alley was the home of a fantastic variety of shops. They had a sweets shop named Candy Cane House, a cat shop that was named Ka(t)zuya, Gringotts, that still looked ready to collapse and Izuku’s favourite shop, the book store, Flourish & Blotts. Kacchan had always been fascinated by Barnes’ Best Brooms and Jay’s Books ’n Breaks. So, racing and cookies and knowledge. Izuku had felt privileged to know about the last two, because everyone had known the first one but barely anyone was aware of the last two.

That Kacchan once had been more than speed and competition.

They stopped in front of Potions and Pottery, which was an odd name, because the only pottery they sold was cauldrons and containers for ingredients.

Inside the not very busy shop, an elderly woman was sorting ingredients into the different shelfs. Her white hair was in a loose knot her neck. She smiled with a cat like expression.

„Shota, little boy, are you here again? You will make my entire income of the year if you continue that way.“ Her voice was raspy but sweet. That didn’t stop Izuku from questioning her mental state. Aizawa-san was not a little boy. He was certainly three head taller than the woman.

„Mrs. Ivory, I do my very best.“

Mrs. Ivory scoffed. „Sure you do. Who is that fine young boy by your side.“

She mustered Izuku. A knot of dark feelings tightened in his chest. Her eyes were grey but sharp, quite th opposite of her friendly demeanour. He inched backwards, behind Aizawa’s legs.

„He is one of my future students, you will be getting his orders quite often, I suppose.” Aizawa held his breath for a second, as if he waited for the woman’s judgement, but he continued, “I need snake skin, Black Mamba, if you have. One Turtle egg, 15 grams of Dandelion root and dandelion leaf, 20 grams of nettles, 25 grams of hibiscus and red rose petals.“

„Are we testing boundaries again, Shota?“ The woman’s smile didn’t seem friendly anymore. It was a bit sharper and her eyes were a bit darker. „Don’t tell me you let this student of you go wild again. He may be smart, but as far as I am aware, he is also uncontrolled. I wouldn’t want to read about your death in the daily prophet.“

Izuku felt caged. The woman spoke about death, and students, but all Izuku could think of was how suffocating the room was and how he could feel Aizawa tense.

„It is for me, Mrs. Ivory.“

„I certainly hope so. That would be 3 galleons, Shota. Don’t get killed.“

Under the sun, Izuku could breathe again. His lungs expanded properly after what felt like a century.

„Are you alright?“

Izuku flinched. He wanted to scream no, he wanted to yell how he never wanted to enter the shop again. Instead he nodded and put a smile on his face. „Can we get ice cream now?“

Aizawa’s expression was unreadable. „Sure, kid.“

Kirishima’s was expensive. According to Aizawa it was worth it.

„Kasumi, how are you doing?“

A shrill scream escaped the woman behind the counter. „Shota-kun, you still look as sleep deprived as ever. You haven’t changed a bit. Is that your son? He is cute. It’s really nice that you adopted.“

„I didn’t adopt“, Aizawa tried to explain, while Izuku changed into a deep shade of red.

„Oh, you didn’t?2, the woman asked confused, before her face lit up. „I get it. I didn’t know you were that much of a potion genius.“

„I-I am n-not...“, Izuku stuttered, his mind screeching like an alarm siren.

„He is not my child. That is Midoriya Izuku. He is a scholarship student for the upcoming year. I mentor him in potions.“

The disappointment in the woman’s voice was obvious when she said, „Oh, but that’s almost the same.“

Aizawa-san sighed heavily. „Sit down, Midoriya-kun, what flavour do you want?“

„Chocolate, please“, he said and moved to one empty table. The cafe was busy. Outside in the sun several costumers sat and enjoyed their ice cream, laughing. Two boys his age sat there as well. He wished it was him and Kacchan. With a sigh he pushed the thought away and looked at the woman again who had started an argument with Aizawa, a very one-sided argument about the best flavour.

„Mom?!“, someone yelled from the hall door behind the counter. „Mom, I am home.“

„Eijirou, move your backside in here. We have guests.“

„Uh-huh.“

A boy with black hair and a bandana stepped into the cafe.

Izuku slammed into a metaphorical brick wall. His eyes were red. Red, red like Kacchan’s. Red like angry burns and blood. Red like hate and disgust and— Izuku couldn’t breathe properly.

His fingers darted to his throat and... _Be quiet, don’t make Kacchan look_. He clawed at his throat and his collar and left angry red stripes on his neck. Tear welled up and he still couldn’t breathe. Blood rushed through his ears fast, fast, pulsing, loud. He gasped.

„—child, hey, Midoriya-kun, can you hear me?“

Aizawa kneeled in front of him, his hands carefully held his wrists. „I need you to breathe for me, can you do that? Deep breaths. Here, can you feel me breathe?“ He carefully placed his hand on his own torso, on the lower part of the ribs. Through the fog of panic, Izuku tried to mimic Aizawa’s breathing. In the middle of Kirishima’s Ice Cafe Izuku closed his eyes and gave in.

His therapist had told him, that it wasn’t his fault, that it was Kacchan’s fault and that it was alright, that Izuku was not happy, not always in his best mood and that he was allowed to react violently, because he was traumatised.

Izuku hadn’t agreed.

He had been completely convinced, that he was completely alright. Sure, sometimes he flinched a bit too hard, and sure, Kacchan terrified him, but he wasn’t _traumatised_.

He was just an overly sensitive kid.

But the truth was, he wasn’t.

On the floor of an ice cafe, Midoriya Izuku gave in.

His therapist was right. Kacchan had traumatised him. He was traumatised. And somehow the words tasted bitter, even in his mind, and he wailed louder, screamed for everything he had lost and cried for all he could have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter countdown for Hogwarts: 4   
> Chapter countdown for meeting another canon character that will take a major role: 3   
> Chapter countdown for the Hogwarts letter: 2 
> 
> Visit me on my ko-fi 


	5. Time is rinsing through my fingers, hold me close, keep me warm, I will remember all out time, when we will be apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet Izuku, wrong representation of therapy, fluff ?, angst ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, 
> 
> I know, I didn’t post last week, but I school started again, and online school is stressing me out. I also had my first meeting with my therapist and was most of the time not capable of simply resting and getting to write. Next week on Wednesday or Thursday we will see Dadzawa and Izuku in Diagonal alley buying school thing. We will also be featured by an annoyed owl. 
> 
> So this chapter is really short and it is badly written and it is just a filler chapter. 
> 
> But here we go.

The birth flower of the month march was a daffodil. Therefore, Kacchan was a daffodil. Here is the trick. One single daffodil was foretelling misfortune. If Izuku was to believe in such thinks he would have known that Kacchan meant trouble.

The birth flower of the month may was the lily of the valley. It stood for purity, sweetness and humility. As you can see, birth flowers were completely irrelevant.

Nonetheless, he sat here with a book about flowers (pretty, useless flowers) and read it.

On the bean bag on the opposite sat his therapist and looked at him with an almost petulant look.

„So you are telling me, that you have been playing hide and seek with this boy, instead of telling your mother what is going on?“

„No...“

His therapist looked at him, exasperated.

„Yes...“

Izuku looked over the book to meet his therapists eyes. He almost disappeared in his oversized sweater he had lend (stolen) from Akiko. The winter months were cold even though they had send no snow and Izuku always felt like he was about to turn into an oversized ice pick whenever he left the house. Akiko had easy. He way to school was down the stair to the study area. To join her, Izuku had to walk ten minutes through the cold, every day barely avoiding frostbite.

„You will not be able to run away from him for ever. You will have to confront him at one point. There are two versions how this will go. One, you will be fine, you have worked with me through enough if what happened that you can deal with seeing or hearing him. Version two, it wont. You will experience heavy panic and flight instincts.“

Mister Derosier stood up and walked to a vase with several flowers. „Here.“ He took the flower that had tenths of white flowers organised in a sphere. „That’s a valerian. It has grown in a potion that works to counter distress. Plug the flower buds, rub one between your fingers, the potion will work. If you need more, come to me. But it would be better to organise emergency sessions. There is no potion that lasts forever. I am sure you know that.“

Izuku nodded. Fascinated he took the delicate flower and tried to catch a smell. Nothing that smelled like it shouldn’t be there. He had heard of special storage and application of potions through organic material but he hadn’t tried it himself yet. Apparently the flowers were extremely expensive, because it was a high risk to grow and sell them.

„I will see you next week, Izuku.“

„See you next week, Mister Derosier.“

The past months had rushed past Izuku in a whirlwind. Surprisingly he had achieved perfection in his new favourite game, avoid Kacchan. As a consequence he now basically lived in Akiko‘s room.

„I am back“, he yelled when he entered the room. Akiko hummed and turned around. She had been really sleepy lately, which might have been caused by here late night, stress cooking she had started.

„Do you want a sleeping potion, Kikochan?“

„M-mh“, she denied.

„You should though.“

Akiko lifted herself off the bed and draped herself over Izuku until he was completely enveloped in her warmth. He enjoyed this moments. The quiet and warm times, where no one yelled and he could forget that there was a canyon between him and the rest of the world.

„Have to enjoy our time. Only a few months left“, Akiko mumbled in his hair.

His heart clenched painfully, but he closed his eyes and willed the tears away. Carefully he laid Akiko down and let her hug him. The warmth enveloped him when he closed his eyes and kept himself drift away, inspiring Akiko, to sleep too.

„I will miss you.“

Izuku wished he could say that he was surprised but he wasn’t. His departure for Hogwarts was still months away, Kacchan had gotten his letter on his birthday, his yells had been loud enough to climb over the metaphorical wall that had been built up between Izuku and the Bakugou’s. But nevertheless it would come. Akiko had spent several years with him, they had met each other almost every day and Akiko was a person he had started to depend on.

„I will miss you too. You can come visit me. And I can visit you over the holidays. And I will write letters everyday.“

Akiko smiled. Over them the sky was had stars shining like dots of bright white paint. April was cold, but under the blankets with Akiko, it was bearable.

Izuku knew that his mother was nervous. The last few days she had been either in deep thought or skittish. It was unnerving. So when his mother finally hesitantly opened her mouth over dinner, he expected the worst. He had thought about he no longer wanting him to go to Hogwarts, he had thought about any kind of terminal diseases and possible symptoms (no, his mother obviously didn’t have Bulgarian fever, she didn’t have dragon pocks, she didn’t show symptoms of a werewolf bite just yet (but that wasn’t a terminal disease, so...))

„Have you thought about what you will do over the holidays, Izuku? I mean, you don’t have to decide just yet, but if you are coming back over the holidays, I will start to take vacation for when you are home, and I wont be able to take all your holidays off, so you might have to choose between them.“

Oh, thank merlin, it was not a werewolf bite.

Izuku shifted on his table before he scratched the back of his head. „I didn’t really think about it, mom. I thought, I might come home for Christmas and stay for Easter. If that’s alright. I can’t stay over Christmas as well, if you need to work.“

His mom smiled. „No, that’s fine. I can work with that.“

Izuku smiled back, ignoring the suppressing feeling of having to tell Akiko, that he wouldn’t come home over at least Easter break.


	6. They looked at us and called it kindness, we saw it for what it was (I did, you were too naive)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of Letters, wands and subtle discrimination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you guys are amazing, over 1000 clicks, that is so cool. Thanks you, I appreciate you all very much.
> 
> Alright, here we go. The next chapter is the train chapter.

When Midoriya Izuku turned eleven years old, an owl smashed against his bedroom window.

Years later Izuku would kill anyone who said he screamed like a banshee.

However, he did scream loud enough, that the owl screeched, turned around and fell from his window sill.

His mother was working, the cake was placed on the table, just as always, and a note laid next to it, but Izuku ignored it all in favour of the door that led to the little garden behind the house. The garden bordered partially on the Bakugou garden. When they were younger, he and Kacchan would break any grounding they might have had by talking at the fence. Auntie Mitsuki would spit fire and smoke whenever she caught the two.

Today,Izuku didn’t even gave the fence a sad look. Instead he carefully took the owl and carried it inside.

The owl was pretty. Almost black with intelligent, but at the moment slightly dazed eyes and sharp claws. With a soft, exasperated cooing the owl dropped the letter.

Izuku forgot to breathe. The creamy white envelope looked oddly misplaced on their tiny table. The green ink was dried and shined in the soft light that fell through the window.

He had always had trouble to believe that he would actually get a letter. Until now Hogwarts seemed always on one sight of a deep canyon and he stood on the other. There had been no solid bridge only an old rope to balance on, that might rip at any given minute. But here on his table laid the letter and suddenly the rope became a bridge of solid stone and steel, that would carry him without failure.

With trembling fingers he reached for the letter and flinched. The owl had bitten his hand. The pain was not more than a soft pulsing and completely drowned in his surprise. “Excuse me?”, he gasped.

The owl looked incredibly smug, before she (was it a she?) pointed at a box of owl cookies. Izuku felt the red blush creep on his face and scrambled to reach the box.

“Here you go, thank you. Do you want to sleep? Water? We have a place for owls over there if you want to rest.” His muttering stopped when the owl grabbed the box and disappeared towards the owl rest place in the small closet in the hallway. Really, this owl was incredibly weird. Fiete, the owl his mother owned, had never done anything of the things the owl had done, and the owl had been here for about five minutes, Fiete had lived with the Midoriya’s since before Izuku was born.

The envelope laid on the table. Carefully Izuku opened the creamy white paper. Several pieces of parchment fell in the desk, all written with the pretty green ink. The first not the longest, but excitement pumped trough his veins, like liquid fire.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Nezu

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr Midoriya,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Nemuri Kayama

Headmistress

Izuku squealed like a teenage girl in one of this terrible stereotypical muggle movies he sometimes watched with Akiko. Without a second to breath he pulled the second sheet of paper out of the envelope.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

UNIFORM

First-year students will require:

1\. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

2\. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

3\. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

4\. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.

COURSE BOOKS

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)

by Miranda Goshawk

A History of Magic

by Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory

by Adalbert Waffling

A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration

by Emeric Switch

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi

by Phyllida Spore

Magical Drafts and Potions

by Arsenius Jigger

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

by Eiji Tatsuma

The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection

by Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS

ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK

Yours sincerely,

Higari Maijima

Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions

If students were not allowed to have a broom, Izuku could barely imagine the screaming match Kacchan would have with his mother. Since Izuku didn’t have a pet, there wouldn’t be an issue. But other people had pets. A smile stretched over his face when he imagined all the cats running around in the castle. He had never been allowed to have one, because his mom wasn’t home and Izuku wasn’t responsible enough to take care of a pet (Izuku begged to differ).

The third sheet of paper was two pages long.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Dear Mr Midoriya,

due to your condition you will be facing several issues. This letter is to inform you of the measures we will take to ensure you will be supported throughout your school career.

First, we want to assure you, that Hogwarts has a strong anti-discrimination program, if you, at any point face trouble because of your squib status, we want you to come to us immediately, especially because some students may have been raised in a much more traditional setting.

Second, since you have a special condition, Hizashi Yamada has been appointed as your adviser.

Third, for the first term you are not allowed to take part in any practical Defence against the dark art lessons.

Fourth, you will have supplementary lessens, every Friday and Sunday to ensure you will be able to hold up with your peers.

Yours sincerely,

Yuudai Kishimoto

Hold on, what? He wasn’t allowed to participate in the practicals? Why? Maybe, maybe that makes sense. He couldn’t really defend himself, Kacchan had proven that countless times. But the other kids didn’t learn hexes and spells and curses until first grade either. He shouldn’t complain, it was nothing he could change. He was lucky to get to go to Hogwarts at all.

Absentmindedly he took one of the cookies from the table and placed the letter back on the table. So it was official. He would be going to Hogwarts. The cookie was a bit salty, he had messed up the measurements again.

Around 11 am the doorbell rang. Aizawa-san looked about as entertained as a gold fish, while Akiko threw herself over through the door and smashed into Izuku like a wrecking ball.

„Happy Birthday, Izu-kun. Did you get the letter? Show me the letter, I have never seen one before.“

Izuku hugged Akiko, laughing. “The letter is in the kitchen on the table, you can read it. Take cake if you want to, don't eat the cookies.”

Akiko disappeared down the hall and Izuku looked up to Aizawa-san.

„Happy Birthday, kid. I pay for your potions stuff.“

Izuku smiled brightly, and impulsively hugged Aizawa. The man turned to a soft shade of red and ruffled the boys hair.

„S-sorry”, squeaked Izuku, turning bright red as well. “I-I don’t know why I did that, sorry.“

„Don’t worry, kid.“

Aizawa looked as if he wanted to say something else, but in this moment, Akiko went ballistic. „What the fuck?! How dare they! That is first level discrimination. This assholes. I am gonna murder them before they have time to say condition again. Condition! DO I LOOK LIKE I AM FUCKING DISABLED!“

Aizawa pushed past Izuku and ran down the hall, Izuku right behind him.

Akiko had the letter in her hand, to be specific, the thrid page. Tears ran down her face, angry tears, rare tears. Akiko didn’t cry in front of people. She was trembling like a leaf, her face was formed by the anger into a demon mask. She sobbed, crumbling once Aizawa took the letter from her.

Izuku was overwhelmed. He didn’t know what to do. Akiko sat on the ground and cried, Aizawa’s eyes were blazing more and more with every line he read.

„Kid, I apologise for this disgusting letter“, he finally said, and Izuku still didn’t get it. What was so bad about this letter? Izuku should have asked, but he didn’t. He sat down next to Akiko and hugged her.

Visiting Diagon Alley was uncomfortable. Akiko looked like she was going to cry or rage at any second, Aizawa looked pissed, but in the subtle way Aizawa showed emotions. He looked the same as usual, but with more frown. It was awkward. Izuku had been fidgeting for the twenty minutes they had spend on the underground and the old lady on sitting on the opposite was starting to throw him annoyed looks.

He scrambled to get off the underground, and he was increasingly glad, that they were taught how to pass as muggles, because he would turn into a puddle of anxiety if he didn’t have a clue about muggles.

The Leaking Cauldron was busy, not as busy as it would be in August, when all the other students would get there books and materials. Izuku was just glad he would have his books so early. He was getting dark circles under his eyes just thinking about the hours at night he would spend studying and he was loving it.

„Okay, we are splitting up. You guys go to the bookstore, I go the potions store. Then we meet up and go ti get you a wand.“

Aizawa continued talking, but Izukus mind had gon into override. A wand. He would be getting a wand. He hadn’t ever really been exposed to wands. His mom never used hers around him. He thought, that maybe she was afraid to hurt him. That seeing, what he would never have, would break him. So he had never thought about getting his own wand. He would get his very own, very real wand. Blood was going wherever it wanted to and he was dizzy. He was also moving. Akiko had grabbed him and dragged him away, possibly to whatever stop they were going to first. It was the bookstore if he remembered right.

Izuku had never hated being in a book store so much. Fine, he was still caring three books more than what was on the list, but still. He would really leave the books behind, if he just got to go to get his wand already. Akiko had hid him over the head thrice, each time because he tried to either get out of the store, tried to spot Aizawa or spaced out in the middle of a conversation with an employee.

When they finally had left the shop (Akiko had taken care of getting all the books together and paying for them), Aizawa was just walking up the street.

„Ready to go, kids?“

Izuku squeaked, jumping up and down, while Akiko looked like Amon with three children, two of them toddlers, one of them a teenager in the middle of puberty, that didn’t now how to use a shower or a deodorant.

She was also running to catch up to Izuku like a mother whose kid just ran away for the third time that day.

Tomoko Shiretoko was on counter duty. Shiretoko hated counter duty, because most hot aurors always ordered by Ryuko, who was an auror assistant. Means, Shiretoko only got to deal with snotty first years and exasperated mothers who had kids who broke their wands.

She did not expect to see one grumpy Shouta Aizawa to enter her shop with an equally grumpy twelve year old and a green fluff ball.

„Shouta, what are you doing here?“, she grinned and stood up.

„Hey, Mandalya, come over here!“

The brunette walked through the door with a bored expression on her face. „What’s up?“

„It‘s Shota. He honouring us with a visit.“

„I am not doing shit.“

The greenette gasped with faked exasperation. „In front of the children. Shota, how dare you?!“

„Oh, stop it.“

Tomoko was having a lot more fun than she should have. It had been way too long since she had been able to tease the man with the resting bitch face.

„So, what’s bringing you to our lovely shop?“ She clapped her hands together, taking in all information she could conclude from the figures in front of her. Both the kids were squibs or at least running extremely low on magical potential.

„Midoriya“, Shota said, and pointed on the boy with the broccoli hair, „is looking for his first wand.“

Tomoko was now ready to bring that business on board. „Heyho, Kitten, how has your day been? Such an adorable child.“

She let the measurement tape flick between her fingers. Befor gesturing it to go. „Don’t move. Good kittens get sweets when this is done. Just let me take you measurements.“

The cute little boy actually looked like almost kitten, with wide eyes and an open mouth. His head turned from one side to the other and he was letting out little Oohs and Aahs at everything he saw.

„That your kitten, Shota?“

For a second the resting bitch face seemed a little more colourful than usual, but his monotone „No“ destroyed all the fun. Well, the show must go on.

„Ragdoll, do you need something?“

She briefly thought about different types of wands, letting Mandalay taking all that information from her head.

„Alright, got it.“

The brunette appeared again, with a stack of boxes in her arms.

Tomoko grabbed a few, a pressed a short kiss to her girl friends cheek before she dumped them on the counter.

„Try this one first. It’s made with Unicorn hair and the wood from a willow. Do you like Panthers or snakes better, boy?“

The green haired boy looked at her in confusion, his little nose scrunched up as he grabbed the wand Mandalaya gave him. „Uh, snakes I think. They are more useful. Panthers are hard to find, hard to train and much more unpredictable. If its cold enough a snake won’t move.“

Oh, Shota‘s kid was smart.

„Swing it“, Mandalya said to the boy. He looked up to her and his eyes lit.

„Ooh!“

He swished it, tiny cracks appeared in the vase on the counter (the ugly one from Ryuko‘s parents. She really despised her parents-in-law).

„Nope.“ Tomoko leaned over the counter and grabbed the wand. Shino gave the boy the next one.

„Molten fluorite with veela hair, encased in beech.“

„For great thinkers“, Shino added. Tomoko just nodded.

The boy took thee wand and swung it. Green light encased his arms and twined around it like a snake.

„Huh“, Tomoko said, „I didn’t know the snake thing was so literal, really.“

But the boy beamed like a gold treasure on a fairy light at her. Really, a precious kid.


	7. Be me lighthouse in the storm (When I arrive I might be cold, but you can warm me up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chu, Chu, Hogwarts train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the most fun chapter to write, because I finally figured out how to write Izuku. 
> 
> Also, here an accurate representation of one of my train of thoughts: 
> 
> My brain: Shindeku.   
> Me: No, BakuDeku, we have been over this.  
> My brain: ShinBakuDeku.  
> Me: Yo, I understand we have a hard time at the moment, but we promised it would be BakuDeku.   
> My brain (completely ignoring me): Maybe we can have the trauma couple ShinTodoBakuDeku.  
> Me: That sounds toxic, no way we can do that.  
> My brain: And BakuDeku is not toxic.  
> Me (sweating): Okay, listen here, we are working on that.  
> My brain (throwing several drafts of future chapters at me): TOXIC  
> Me: I said, it will be better  
> My brain: But imagine the drama
> 
> ——  
> Your thoughts?

„Write me”, Akiko demanded. “If you meet my other genetic similarity, don’t confront him. Stay away from that bully of yours. Get killed and there is nothing that will protect you from my wrath.” 

He laughed. His mother had stated several similar things. 

„Midoriya-kun, we have to leave!“, Miss Okazaki yelled from downstairs. 

Akiko looked to the door and for a second she lost her smile and her eyes unfocused. 

„I will write to you. First letter is going out this evening, I promise.“ He hugged her until she smiled again. „You can visit me. We could go to Hogsmead during the holidays. I asked Aizawa-sensei, and he said I can get a special permission if my mum agrees.“ 

„Sure. Gonna miss you, Izukun.“ 

He smiled at her. The zinnias bloomed bright on her window sill. Akiko said in the middle of the bright room and before the door slammed shut, she looked like an angel. 

„Bye, Kikochan.“ He didn’t wait for her answer. He wasn’t sure if he could leave if he didn’t go right now. 

„Come here, boy“, Miss Okazaki said. She wore a dark coat and make-up that hid her scar. A soft smile curled her lips. „Do you have anything? Doesn’t matter if you don’t. I will send you an owl or make Shota come and get your things. Do you have money? Sweets? Your uniform?“ 

„Yes, Miss.“ 

„Perfect.“ She threw his own coat at him. „Get ready. We have got to go.“ 

* * *

  
  
  


London was as busy as ever. Izuku was once again reminded that he wasn’t very tall, when another man in a suit ran him over, quickly apologizing before going back to agitatedly speaking into his phone. 

„Muggles“, Miss Okazaki sighed. „Never paying attention. Come here, boy. Stay close to me.“ 

Miss Okazaki carried his suitcase. Her eyes strayed over the large crowd that streamed into and out of King’s Cross. 

„Are any of them wizards?“, he asked quietly. 

„Oh, I am not sure. Most wizards take the floo to the platform or simply disapparate. But I would like you to know how to get to the platform without any of the luxury.“ 

She steered him through the crowd, past the stand with the delicious looking donuts and cupcakes and past the exit of the underground. Several stairways lead up to the platforms. 

„Oh, would you look at that. I swear, the assholes of the orphanage are getting bolder and bolder every year“, Miss Okazaki glared at a boy (oh, holy Merlin, that was a tall boy) with purple, fluffy hair and huge eye bags. 

„Shinsou, darling“, yelled Miss Okazaki. The boy flinched and spun. His eyes locked with Izuku’s for a second before they lazily strolled over to the two. The crowd seemed to part around him. If Kacchan seemed like burning hot flames, he was like cold silk. 

„Okazaki-san, what are you doing here?“ 

„Oh, young man, you better explain to me, why you are alone.“ 

„I convinced the orphanage to let me go alone.“ His voice was wrapping Izuku in cotton and silk. He was captivated in those purple, half lidded eyes. He would fall to his knees and- 

Izuku felt like he was thrown into cold water. He gasped, air threatening to suffocate him without giving him his much needed oxygen. 

„Hey, breathe slowly, look at me.“ Cool fingers slid along his jaw and turned his head to the boy, Shinsou. „Breathe, pretty boy“, he whispered and Izuku was about to fall into the cotton again, when Shinsou withdrew. 

„Sorry ´bout that. It happens sometimes with new people. I am Shinsou. If you are as sweet as you look, I will tell you my first name.“ 

Izuku might not survive this day. „Mi-midori-riya I-Izuku“, he stuttered, his ears were burning. 

„Don’t flirt with my childs, Shinsou. And don’t lie to me. I am not above writing another complaint to those neglectful assholes.“ 

„Do you teach children with that mouth.“ 

Miss Okazaki hit Shinsou over the head. „Follow me, boys, we don’t want you to miss the train.“ 

„If you are one of Okazaki-san’s kids, does that mean you are a squib?“ 

Izuku flinched. Here his chance for friendship went. It only took about a minute. Of course this gorgeous boy before him wouldn’t want anything from a stupid squib like him. 

„You don’t have to tell me, you know“, Shinsou whispered. His purple gaze burned on his skin.

„No, I can tell you.“

„Don’t feel pressured.“ 

Izuku shook his head, „Squibs that lack magical potential completely are extremely unusual. Most of us just are extremely low on that potential. We can increase the speed of growing plants or change the colour of our hair or have some sort of heightened senses or a sixth sense for danger or shop sales or cooking. We don’t usually get to attend any of the wizard schools, so there is no way for us to expand or practice magic. We have a much harder time but it is not impossible for us to cast spells. So yes, I am a squib. No, I am not a muggle. I can practice magic. And maybe I am weak, and pathetic and I will never be as good as yo-“ 

His eyes met purple and he plunged into cotton. „Calm down, Midoriya. You don’t have to justify yourself“, whispered the cold silk. In the haze, Izuku imagined that Shinsou would stay. 

  
  


„You want me to run into a wall?“ 

Wasn’t this really obvious? Izuku ogled the wall. It didn’t look different than any other wall. 

„You are aware that the stairs in Hogwarts are changing their direction, right? A wall that leads to a different platform doesn’t seem that unbelievable.“ Miss Okazaki smiled down on him. Next to him Shinsou eyed him, a lazy smirk on his lips. 

„Want me to hold your hand?“ 

Izuku squeaked and ran towards the wall. 

Instead of a hard impact the wall swallowed him like cold ocean water and spit him out in the middle of what seemed the oddest assembly of people he had ever seen. 

On his left a crowd of people with black robes and stern eyes overlooked the assembly. Between them women and men in the most colorful robes hugged children of all ages and skin colours. On his left a woman and a girl argued in a language that could have been Korean, a group of students that looked incredibly tired, switched between English and French. Someone screamed a curse in Russian (the only word, Izuku knew in Russian). 

„It's overwhelming, isn’t it?“ Shinsou exited the wall and stood next to him and leaned on his trolley. For the first time, Izuku noticed the cat cage that throned on his suitcase. 

„You have a cat?“ 

„Hm? Oh, yes. Her name is Neko.“ 

„You named your cat, cat‘?“, Izuku asked, scandalized. 

„I wasn’t creative enough for another name.“ 

„You should rename it.“ 

„Nah. No renaming. She is now named Neko, she will forever be Neko.“ 

Izuku lightly laid a hand on the cage, „Don’t worry. I will give you a new name.“ 

Shinsou pouted. „My cat! Don’t steal it!“ 

Izuku opened his mouth, even though he was at a complete loss of words, but his laugh never left his mouth when a familiar blond head pressed through the crowd. His throat tightened and he froze. 

„Hey, are you alright? I am sorry. I didn’t mean to push any buttons. I am sorry. Hey, Midoriya“, Shinsou babbled and slowly inched closer. 

„T-there… I-i h-have t-to hi-hide…“, he breathed, panic clouded his mind until the only thing he could see was blond hair and tears gathered in his eyes. He didn’t know he would react that violently to Kacchan. Maybe it was because of his beginning therapy? His wrong healed bone had been broken and was now slowly healing. He just couldn’t put pressure on it. It would be getting better. But right now all he could see was blond and his mind couldn’t cope. 

„O-oh, okay. Come here.“ Shinsou dragged him closer. Within seconds he was out of his black hoodie jacket and threw it over his shoulders. Carefully he placed the hood over his hair and than (oh wonder, how heavenly) he cradled him in his arms. His face was pressed in a chest, and he couldn’t see blond anymore. 

„I have got you. Do you want me to get you on the train? I am sure, Okazaki-san would understand if you don’t say goodbye. You can write to her later.“

Izuku nodded. 

„Do you want me to put you under, like I did before?“ 

Izuku shook his head. He wouldn’t be able to run from Kacchan if they were discovered. 

  
  
  


Izuku wasn’t quite sure how he made it into a compartment. He just knew his head was spinning and sweat was running down his temple and he was breathing too fast. And then he knew nothing. Just that there was a warm body next to him, that would keep him safe. Who’s body? He had no idea. 

Long fingers that massaged his scalp slowly brought him out of the cold silk. The train was rattling in the background, someone was humming quietly, the rhythm matching with the patterns the fingers drew in his hair. 

  
  


„Midoriya, are you with me again?“, a voice asked calmly. The fingers didn’t stop, Izuku didn’t want them to. He pressed against the fingers and made a sound that was closest to a purr. 

„I take that as a yes. Do you want some water?“ 

The feeling of sand in his throat was suddenly much more prominent. He pushed himself into a seating position (oh, merlin, he had been sleeping in the lap of a boy) and grabbed the water bottle that was given to him. 

Purple hair caught his attention and he almost dropped the water bottle. „Shinsou!“ 

„Hmm, yes?“ 

„Why- why...?“ 

Shinsou had the audacity to smirk. „What? Did my beauty make you speechless?“ 

„Shinsou“, Izuku whined and hid his face between his fingers to hide his incoming blush. 

„No need to hide. You look so cute. Especially when you blush.“ 

Izuku was ready to die. He was going to melt. 

„No, seriously, you should drink something. Panic attacks dehydrate.“ 

Izuku didn’t ask where he had that from. With big gulps he emptied the water bottle and took the compartment in. Apparently they had been moving for a while. London had disappeared in the distance and nature had taken it’s place. Shinsou had drawn the curtains close, so no one could look through the door. 

Izuku shuckled quietly. Akiko would throw a fit, if she knew that he had been alone for several hours with a stranger, not even conscious. She might just catch a ride to Hogwarts just to smack him over the head. 

„So, do you have a card game or something?“, he asked Shinsou. Might as well make connections. His anxiety seemed really nice today. It had calmed around Shinsou. He could enjoy the peace and make a friend. If that was what Shinsou wanted of yourself. He might not want to be his friend. Maybe he didn’t want friends. Maybe he didn’t like Izuku. 

Yeah, scratch that, his anxiety was working. 

Shinsou smiled. Cold silk grazed his mind, his anxiety shut up. 

„Yeah, wanna play Uno? It’s a muggle game. You...“

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Todoroki Shoto, objectively, hated his family. Of course, that wasn’t a well known fact. It was about as unknown as the fact his mother, Todoroki Rei, was a permanent resident in a remote building that belonged to the Saint Mungo Institute, that supervised several hospitals and mental health hospitals and rehabilitation centres. It was about as well known as the fact that his brother, the oldest one, was severely scared on his arms and hands, because his father had brought him to a point, where his magic literally exploded around his arms and scarred him beyond repair. The scars in his face had healed, his stomach and back were only lightly scarred, but his arms were purple with burn scars. Fuyumi still cried every time she saw them.

Really, the only thing most people knew about his family was his father, the vice minister of magic, Todoroki Enji. His father didn’t even like Yagi Toshinori. The only thing he wanted was the position of the minister, and an heir. 

„You coming, little one?“ Touya was objectively pretty. Shoto concluded that from the amount of girls that had gathered around them the moment they had stepped on the train. 

„No.“ 

Touya turned around. His blue eyes were glinting curiously. How unusual. It was so different from the lazy, but observing gaze and the everlasting smirk that never seemed to leave his brother's lips. He had cried for Touya once, but now he couldn’t get himself to feel anything. He would never stop crying otherwise. 

„What do you mean, no?

„I can go and find my own department.“ 

Touya was back to his default expression. „Come on, Shoto, why don‘t you sit with your siblings? You won‘t find an empty department.“ 

Stubbornly he stared into his brother's eyes. He had almost reached Touyas height. „I can sit with other people.“ 

A little huff escaped Touya. „You can’t even talk to other people in a department store, how do you want to talk to other kids?“ 

That didn’t hurt, Shoto wasn’t hurt. Shoto was never hurt. He just turned around and walked away. 

„Hey, hey, Shoto! Shoto, come back! Hey. I am talking to you!“ 

Shoto didn’t turn around and his brother stopped shouting when another voice yelled his name, in a soft and cheery manner, in a way, no one had called out to Shoto since he could remember. 

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


„Uno, last card.“ With a loud laugh Izuku threw his card on top of the stack and smiled at Shinsou, who looked slightly annoyed. Maybe Izuku should have lost this round. It probably wasn’t fun to lose in a game, especially if you lost every single round. 

But Shinsou just glinted at him and reached for Izuku‘s hair. „Stop beaming like the sun. You will make me go blind.“ 

Izuku turned to a soft shade of red again. „Shinsou.“ He really should stop whining, 

With a sudden jolt, the department door was opened. Izuku coward. Shinsou was tall and sat with his bag to the door. 

Shinsou gave Izuku a look and straightened his back. „Hey, jerk, this department is full“, he said with a stern voice before he turned around. 

Over Shinsou‘s shoulder Izuku saw a boy, who was (surprise, surprise) taller than him. He had nearly angelic features, even with the large scar that surrounded his left eye. He had heterochromatic eyes and bicoloured hair. His left eye was blue and the left side of his hair was red. The other half of his head was white, his right eye was grey. He looked slightly misplaced, his eyes were cold but he looked lost. His robe was black, a crest that seemed oddly familiar was stitched to the robe on the height of his heart. 

„Excuse me, but I think here is enough space. Can I really not sit here?“ The boy‘s voice was oddly monotone, he sounded almost like Akiko, in the first few months after he had met her. 

Shinsou seemed to get ready to snap at the boy, but Izuku quickly raised to his feet. „Take a seat. I am Midoriya Izuku, this is Shinsou, do you want to play UNO?“ 

  
  
  


Turned out, the boy (Shoto, just Shoto) didn’t know what UNO was. He generally didn’t seem to know a lot about any muggle game or anything about the muggle world at all. Shinsou and Izuku started a crash course about muggle games, cell phones, cars and the underground until Izuku fell asleep. Shinsou layed the boy back down and carefully placed the greenette‘s head in his lap. He could feel Shoto‘s eyes on him. 

„If you are done starring, give me your coat.“ 

Shoto didn’t answer, but he still slipped out of the long coat of his robe and gave it to Shinsou. 

Shinsou carefully took the coat and laid it on Izuku, who simply whined quietly before he made grabby hand and nuzzled his face into his hands and the coat. 

  
  


„I know that crest. You are a Todoroki, aren’t you?“ Shoto tensed, his eyes flickered to the door, before he looked back to Shinsou. 

Shinsou watched him like a cat watched a fat mouse. „You don’t have to say anything. I don‘t care if you are some snobby pureblood, just don‘t try anything weird. If you dare to do anything to Izuku, I will find you, and I will kill you.“ 

Shoto‘s face morphed into confusion, the first emotion that he had expressed on his face since he had entered the department. „Why would I do anything to him?“

„Don‘t act dumber than you are. I know you purebloods. There is nothing that you guys hate more than squibs.“

„You mean...?“

„Izuku is a squib. What? Surprised? If you can’t live with that, then stand up and go, right now.“ 

But Shoto didn’t move. He just looked at Shinsou with a slightly tilted head. 

„Don't worry. My brother is a squib, too. And I am not that fascinated by pureblood fanaticism.“

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


„Hey, squirts, get in your uniform.“ 

The unfamiliar voice disrupted Izuku‘s sleep effortlessly. 

„Can’t you be a bit more quiet?“, Shinsou yelled. 

„Nah“, the unfamiliar voice answered, „hey, aren’t ya Dabi‘s baby brother.“ 

„Does that matter?“, came the cold answer from Shoto. 

„Nah, just wake the little kid up and get into your uniforms, we arrive in fifteen minutes. Good luck.“ 

The compartment door slammed shut. 

„Hey, Zuku, wake up.“ 

Someone poked him in the cheek. 

„Zuku?“, Izuku mumbled sleepily. 

„Yeah. Should I not call you that?“

„Mmm, It’s alright.“ Izuku tried to nuzzle his face into the fabric again. 

„Stop sleeping, Zuku.“ Shinsou laughed and gently shook Izuku‘s shoulders.

„Don't want to.“ 

„You can see Hogsmead“, Shoto suddenly said. He had looked out of the window, averting his eyes the moment Shinsou had started to wake Izuku up. 

Izuku jumped from the seats and rushed to the window. „Really? Wow.“ 

In the distance several lights glowed dimly, hinting on a village in the middle of the big forest. 

„Yeah, nice and everything, but I have a question“, Shinsou drawled in the background, in his hands he held his black uniform. „Where do we change?“ 

Izuku stopped, Todoroki slowly tilted his head, before he said, „Well, here. We are all boys, aren’t we?“ 

Shinsou threw him the most annoyed look he could produce, „While we are all boys, I really don't feel like changing in front of you two, sorry, but no.“ 

Izuku looked around, nibbling on his lower lip, „Are there changing rooms or restrooms?“ 

Shoto nodded. „Yes, but my siblings said that they are mostly overfilled.“ 

Shinsou sighed, „Okay, what now?“ 

Izuku carefully climbed on the seats and stretched to get his fingers on the handle of his suitcase. 

„What are you doing, if I am allowed to ask?“, Shoto said slowly. 

„Help me out. I am building a changing room.“ 

Shinsou stared at Izuku, mouth half opened ready to reply, when Izuku stumbled and fell from his seat. Shoto rushed forward, caught the boy and carefully placed him on the ground. „How about you tell us your plan, before you get yourself killed?“ 

Izuku pouted, eyes still sleepy, before he explained his idea to the boys. 

  
  


Todoroki Shoto smiled a little when he lifted a suitcase out of the baggage shelf. 

  
  
  
  



	8. And if our boat won’t hold and capsize, I will swim you to the shore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Row, row, row the boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, I forgot the text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there has been a mixed response over the last chapter, so let me clear some things up: BakuDeku will come as a ship. That is final. 
> 
> I will most likely have Todoroki and Shinsou be part of the main ship, which would be my OT4 ShinTodoBakuDeku. This is not final. 
> 
> Also, be aware that his is slow burn (Now that I mention it, I have to tag it. I think I haven’t yet). I won’t throw a bunch of eleven year old in a relationship. I have principles. 
> 
> Now, I need help. In which house do I put Mineta? I need to park him until he becomes plot relevant, but I can’t figure out which house I have to insult. 
> 
> Furthermore, I will switch to a two week rhythm with my updates, because I am entering exam phase three and I will lose my mind. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter, stay safe, have a nice day or a good night.

The castle was looming over the lake, the windows let little light out of the cold stone walls and gave the building an ominous shine. Izuku was mesmerised. 

“It’s so pretty”, he whispered. He sat in one of the boats, hidden between Shinsou and Shoto. He has seen Kacchan in one of the first boats and Shinsou apparently two, because he had waited until the very last two boats departed to get them one of the flimsy vessels. 

“What if we capsize?”, Shoto suddenly said. He had tried to stay as centered as possible, eyeing the water suspiciously. As a result of his cantered position, Izuku was basically sandwiched between two guys that could use his head as an arm holder. His poor eleven-year old brain was regretting the walk though the adult book section. (Shoto had a very warm body, not that Izuku would notice. He most certainly didn’t care.) 

“We wont capsize”, Shinsou smirked, “this is a magic ship. But if we do, I will push you to go first.” 

“Please don’t”, Shoto said, pressing himself even closer to Izuku who was not turning into a tomato, “I can’t swim.” 

Shinsou froze. Metaphorically of course. Izuku had real life data on his body temperature and even though it was lower than Shoto’s, it was still warm. 

“Don’t worry, I will keep you over water”, Izuku squealed to say anything to distract himself from his annoying train of thought. 

That seemed to revive Shinsou who quickly spat, “No! You are too small. You would drown, Zuku. I will carry the candy cane.” 

“That is very nice of you.” 

Shinsou seemed to slowly blush, “Don’t worry.” 

  
  
  


The little boats disappeared one by one through the tangled ivy curtain, following the little boat of the teacher (every single one of the boys had already forgotten her name, but who cares). 

Darkness fell upon them as they sailed through the tunnel until they entered a torch lighted port. Several boats were already fastened at the stone wall, students rushed up the stairs to the large door, where a strict looking woman was standing. Her purple hair was a lot darker than Shinsou’s and seemed to float around her head. Under her cloak she wore an extraordinary robe that seemed to be a harness. Izuku wouldn’t judge, but it looked like one of those harnesses that were in the magazines his mum always took from him. 

The boat gently tapped against the wall and Shoto basically flung himself off the boat (even though he looked very gracious doing it), before he helped Shinsou (who playfully dragged him closer to the edge of the wall) and Izuku out of the boat. 

Izuku had underestimated the masses of children who became Hogwarts students each year. After the Blood Purity War, the international exchange had boomed. Hogwarts housed students from several different countries, mostly Japan and France, because of the Three Country Travel Act (TCTA) from 2001, shortly after the end of the war. 

Shinsou had taken it upon himself to walk right in front of him and Shoto, albeit looking confused, had placed himself by his side, but still managed to look protectively. Izuku had his suspicions. Shinsou probably told Shoto. Izuku wasn’t angry, he really wasn’t, but it still hurt and itzy tiny bit, that Shinsou hadn’t asked before he went and told Shoto. He wasn’t made of glass, he wouldn’t break once the other students would inevitably turn on him when they figured he was a squib. 

He was just a useless squib. But he had survived Kacchan, who had been supposed to be with him forever. He would survive the hate of strangers. 

(Izuku’s brain had mastered the art of fooling itself at the age of seven) 

* * *

Hogwarts was a surprisingly dark place. Izuku wished for a bit more light, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. He simply slumped in on himself and scooped a bit closer to Shoto. 

It was nothing short of amazing to see this many kids. Izuku wasn’t a muggle, he hadn’t been to kindergarten and elementary school, he had never interacted with so many strangers at once. It was amazing, and it was scary. 

A couple of kids spoke in different languages, standing together in groups, as they waited for the lady to lead them away. Shinsou kept a close look on a group of three kids next to them, scowling and occasionally growling quietly. 

The group didn’t whisper, but spoke another language, presumably french. One boy looked over his shoulder and his eyes met Izuku. He grinned, something that made Izuku want to curl in on himself in his eyes and said something. The group exploded in laughter. Shinsou pushed himself off the wall and suddenly Izuku was all too aware how tall Shinsou was. Words dripped from his lips like honey. Honey spiked with poison. Shinsou was pretty. Izuku knew that he was pretty with high cheekbones and purple orbs for eyes and pale skin and slightly chapped but very pinkish lips. 

Shinsou was pretty. But right now, he was also terrifying. 

Something dark creeped over his features, emphasised the shadows and made his eyes glow with something that looked an awful lot like reflected purple flames. His voice was still dripping poisoned honey, but Izuku couldn’t understand what he was saying because Shinsou spoke French. Shinsou was speaking another language like he had never done anything else. 

The group of boys seemed to freeze. Their gazes ran up and down the hallway, eyes wide and only one of them didn’t move back a step. He was blonde, a pearly laugh had been on his lips just seconds before, but now his eyes were just as wide and and he was just as frozen as the other two boys. 

Shinsou spat some more French, the boy reacted, lips curling into a snarl before he said something that sounded like a whiplash. Izuku could see Shinou’s hand twitching. 

The boy turned around and walked away, his back tense and his shoulder slightly drawn up. The other two followed him, moving backwards, their eyes on Shinsou. 

“Assholes”, Shinsou murmured, hands clenching. 

Izuku looked at him, searching. “My mommy said, that is a bad word.” 

Shoto looked up. “Assholes”, he whispered as if he tried out the word. 

Izuku felt like he might just have started passive aggressive warfare, even though he had no idea why. 

* * *

  
  


“Everyone listen carefully! My name is Professor Kayama. I am the Deputy Headmistress of this institution. I am also the Head of Ravenclaw. If you are sorted into Ravenclaw, I am responsible for you. For those of you who have never heard of the houses before, let me explain it to you really quickly. In Hogwarts all first years are sorted into the different houses based on your most prominent character traits or the way you practice magic. There are the houses Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. The houses are named after the founders of Hogwarts.”

Izuku’s fingers twitched with need to write all the information down, even though he had them already in his head. 

“While you are here, the houses will be your family. You will win points for your house by showing excellent behaviour and participating in class, but you can also lose points for misbehaving and disregarding the rules. The rules are here to keep you alive. Break them and you die. If you miraculously survive, you will be expelled.”

A shiver went through the crowd, some kids looked to the floor, some drew their shoulders up. 

“The rules will be explained to you by the Prefects of your house. If you have any questions, you can’t ask the prefects for whatever reason, come to me or the Head students. This year the head students are Rumi Usagiyama and Sako Atsuhiro. Your prefects will point them out for you, but I doubt that you will be able to miss them. Rumi is incredible... prominent.” 

Professor Kayama looked like she had bitten into a lemon while she had been told a joke. 

Her eyes roamed over the crowd, slowly, as if she was trying to remember every single face. Then her serious expression broke into a shark like smile. 

“Well, let's get you sorted, kiddos.”

  
  



End file.
